"han är utan färg"

My thesis defense is arranged in June. I am a bit listless these days. I even tried to pick up calligraphy, unfortunately, my handwriting becomes worse and worse. I confess that I fear computers.

Solitude always looks charming to me. That's why I love Franz Kafka, Emily Dickinson, Beatrice Potter and Edith Södergran. It is said that you are what you read. I read Södergran's My Soul some years ago. Actually I dont know why this simple poem touched me so much at that time, perhaps because "han är utan färg".

Min Själ

Min själ kan icke berättra och veta någon sanning,

min själ kan endast gråta och skratta och vrida

sina händer；

min själ kan icke minnas och försvara,

min själ kan icke överväga och bekeräfta.

När jag var barn såg jag havet：det var blått,

i min ungdom mötte jag en blomma：hon var röd,

nu sitter vid min sida en främlling：han är utan färg,

men jag är icke mera rädd för honom än jungfrun var

för draken.

När riddaren kom var jungfrun röd och vit,

men jag har mörka ringar under ögonen.

My Soul (Translated by Stina Katchadourian)

My soul can tell no tales and knows no truth,

my soul can only cry and laugh and wring its hands；

my soul cannot remember and defend,

my soul cannot consider or approve.

As a child I saw the sea: it was blue.

In my youth I met a flower: she was red.

Now a stranger sits by my side: he is colorless,

but I fear him no more than the virgin feared

the dragon.

The knight came upon the virgin, red and white,

but I have dark rings under my eyes.

我的靈魂 (北島譯)

我的靈魂不會講故事，不懂道理，
我的靈魂只會苦笑，扭緊它的雙手；
我的靈魂不會記憶和防禦，
我的靈魂不會考慮或贊許。
我幼年時看見過海，它是藍的。
我年輕時見過花，她是紅的。
如今一個陌生人坐在我的身旁：他沒有顏色，
可我並不比處女怕龍那樣更怕他。
騎士到來的時候，處女白裏透紅，
而我的眼瞼留下青暈。

Edith Södergran- Nordisk Vår

Alla mina luftslott ha smultit som snö,

alla mina drömmer ha runnit som vatten,

av allt vad jag älskat har jag endast kvar

en blå himmel och några bleka stjärnor.

Vinden rör sig sakta mellan träden.

Tomheten vilar. Vattnet är tyst.

Den gamla granen står vaken och tänker

På det viat molnet, han i drömmen kysst.

Nordic Spring- translated by Stina Katchadourian

All my air castles have melted like snow,

all my dreams have run off like water,

all that remains of what I’ve ever loved

is a blue sky and some pale stars.

The wind moves quietly among the trees.

Emptiness rests. The water is still.

The old fir tree stands awake thinking

of the white cloud that he kissed in his dream.

Södergran-Stjärnenatten

I went to the school library to borrow e. e. cummings' poems. The collection of his complete poems is so huge that I cannot squeeze it into my backpack, not to mention reading while waiting for the bus...Finally I borrowed the following copies: Dubliners by Joyce, Carried away-A selection of Stories by Alice Munro and the Madwoman in the Attic by Gibert and Gubar. I also found a Swedish-English bilingual book to read, which actually is the selected poems of Edith Södergran!

Stjärnenatten

Stary night

*Night full of Stars

Onödigt lidande,

Unnessary suffering

*Needless suffering

Onödig väntan,

Unnessary waiting

*Needless waiting

Välden är tom som ditt skratt

The world is empty like your laughter

*the world, like your laughter, is empty.

Stjärnorna falla—

The stars are falling

* The stars are falling

Kalla och härliga natt

Cold and lovely night

*Cold and wonderful night

Kärleken ler under sömnen,

Love is smiling beneath the sleep

* Love is smiling in itssleep

Kärleken drömmer om evighet...

Love is dreaming of eternity…

* Love is dreaming of eternity…

Onödig fruktan, onödig smärta,

Unnessary fear, unnessary grief,

*needless fear, needless pain,

Världen är mindre än ingenting,

The world is smaller than nothing,

* The world is less than nothing at all,

ned i djupet glider från kärlekens hand

from the love’s hand, down in the depth glides

*from the hand of love, down into the deep,

evighetens ring.

the eternity’s ring

*slides eternity’s ring.

++++++++++++++++++++++

* is the translation by Stina katchadourian

Tranströmer-Haiku poems I

The haiku is difficult for me... There are too many word combinations:(

Ett lamakloster
A monk monastery

med hängande trädgårdar
with hanging gardens 

bataljmålningar
battle paintings

* Batalj > battle. (Battle more often = slag.)

* Målningar > paintings

Hopplöshetens väg
The way (or road) of hopelessness

duvorna kommer och går
doves come and go

utan ansikten
without faces 

Tankar står stilla
Thoughts stand still

* Old commercial of petrol company Esso: "Ha alltid Esso i tankarna!"

* "Always think of Esso" OR "Always have Esso in your (gas) tanks"

som mosaikplattorna
as the mosaic plate

i palatsgården
in the palace yard

Står på balkongen
Stand in balcony

i en bur av solstrålar
in a cage of sunbeams

som en regnbåge
like a rainbow

Gnolar i dimman
Hum in the mist

en fiskebåt långt ute
a fish boat far away

trofé på vattnet
trophy in water

Glittrande städer
Glitzy towns

torn, sagor. Matematik
towers, tales, mathematics

fast annorlunda
although different